Qualities of a Good Friend

"Show me your friends and I will show you your future." - unknown

As we move into a new school year, I wanted to take a moment here in this space to talk about friendships. I've learned so much about friends over the years, not only for myself, but also for my kids. One thing I believe to be true and that we really preach in our home is that to have good friends, you must be a good friend.

We all want our kids to develop great friendships, but how do we teach our kids what it means to be a good friend? It definitely takes time and a lot of work. One thing that we do in our home is that we talk a LOT. We talk about what it looks like to be a good friend and the character qualities that make up a good friend. We also talk about the opposite, the qualities of a poor friend and what character qualities that might look like. This makes for great conversations in our home, and I really do believe it is laying the groundwork to help my kids learn how to be great friends and build amazing friendships with their peers.

Here are the qualities we have decided that make up a good friend in our home:

Respectful to parents

Respectful to others

Doesn't Gossip

Apologizes for doing wrong

Treats siblings kindly

Encourages others to try

Always honest

Gives others grace

Willing to compromise

You may decide to highlight different qualities in your home but may give you a great starting place. You may even think about including your kids in on your lists. What a great activity to do together as a family!

Next, I challenge you to create a list of what qualities make up a poor friend. I think there is so much value, especially for children to know both sides of the coin. To understand that there are character qualities that might turn people off from wanting to be their friend. In a world that seems very disconnected because of technology, this feels relevant and necessary for us to teach our children.

Here is what we came up with for our family:

Disrespectful to parents

Disrespectful to others

Gossips about others

Blames others for mistakes

Easily angered

Brings others down

Twists the truth

Critical of others

Always needs to be right

As we get ourselves grounded into a new school year, I think this is such a great thing to talk about in our families and with our kids. We are not alone as we walk this hard road of helping our kids find good friends and learn to be good friends. Which is why I think this is crucial to talk about in our homes. To teach and train our children how to be kind and how to be a good friend, as well as how to choose good friendships that will build them up.

One of my favorite scripture verses for parenting is:

Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not turn from it. - proverbs 22:6

The Message version says "point your kids in the right direction -- when they're old they won't be lost." Mamas, we have a big big job in raising up these kiddos. Let's help point them in the right direction, in all areas of their lives, but especially when it comes to choosing great friendships and being a good friend to others. I know it is a lot of work, but the value far outweighs the time spent pouring into it. You've got this!

Love you mama!

If you like our good/poor friend qualities lists, I did create a free printable. I have them hanging on our fridge so we can talk about it every day. I may at some point put them in frames and hang them in the playroom, but for now this offers a great reminder for me to keep the conversation going. Click below if you are interested!

Click Me