Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
We all love, or at least like, being appreciated. Not sure about you, but words of affirmation is definitely one of my love languages (Note: Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages is an amazing book and you should definitely read it! As well as The Five Love Languages of Children, another book I highly recommend). Even if words of affirmation don't fill your bucket, I think we all can agree we place some value on being appreciated. And I know I am not alone in wanting to raise kids who have a grateful heart. Not just towards me as their mom, but towards others around them.
Have a little fun. Discover what your love languages are. Share in the comments at the end of this post.
I don't have all the answers and definitely won't pretend to, but as a mom of three, who are growing up and starting to show fruits of years of labor in this department, I do feel a bit qualified to share what we have done in our home. My kids are not perfect and of course have their moments of ungratefulness, however, more times than not, my children surprise me and make me proud of their genuine grateful hearts.
With that being said, I wanted to share 3 simple ways you can start raising grateful kids. And you can start today!
Model Gratefulness It goes without saying that kids learn more from watching what we do than from what we say. We can lecture them until we are blue in the face on how they should be grateful, not be selfish, or appreciate all the things we do for them on a daily basis. However, words will always fall short, and our actions will always speak louder. One way I've tried to model gratefulness to my kids is by vocally thanking them when they help out. Intentionally going out of my way to share my appreciation for them. A simple example from recently with my oldest son was when he did a great job of folding and putting away his clothes when asked. This is a chore that is expected of him, however, instead of just moving on with my tasks for the day, I wanted to make sure he knew just how helpful it is to me that he does this task. Praising our kids for behaviors we value and catching them doing the right thing reinforces these behaviors. A simple "Thank you" really does go a long way. I watched him beam in the afterglow of that simple compliment that took me all of 10 seconds. And guess what, now when I ask him to fold and put away his laundry, he for the most part does it without hesitation. Guys, this kid is 9 years old! That right there is pretty stinkin' awesome if you ask me. I also try to model gratefulness through thanking my husband (out loud and in front of the kids) on a daily basis for all he does to provide for our family. It isn't easy being the sole provider and I never want to take him for granted. My hope is that as they hear and see me appreciating their father, they too will learn to do this from their own hearts as well. * A note for the dads: my husband is also really good at this! He models gratitude to our children almost daily as he thanks me for taking care of the house or cooking dinner. These might seem trivial to notice, but from a mom who does most of these things herself, I will tell you, there is nothing more life giving to me than my husband taking a tiny moment to notice the clean bathroom, or the laundry folded (even if it isn't put away). My heart needs this appreciation and though I don't count on in or do these things for recognition, they are much appreciated, especially when they are genuinely given. ** Remember we are not just raising kids. We are raising future adults. Future husbands and wives. Future bosses and employees. What we teach them in our homes will inevitably be what they bring with them outside our homes.
Write it Down Starting a gratitude journal a few years back was one of the most pivotal moments in my walk not only as a mom, but as a wife and Christian. Studies have shown that people who practice gratitude experience a myriad of health benefits, such as better sleep, lower blood pressure, and higher emotional resilience. What more could we possibly want to give our children? Another fun way to write down what you are grateful for is to start a gratitude jar. A few years back a sweet mom in my life group at church gifted our family with a "blessings jar". This sparked a newfound joy in my home for finding the little blessings throughout the day and practicing writing them down. I try to write down something every day, however I am sad to admit it really turns into once a week. I also aid my kids in remembering to add to the jar as well. In a perfect world we would all do it every day, but the idea isn't perfection, but just practicing and cultivation a heart of gratitude. To make this even more fun, we try every few months to spill out the little pieces of paper in the jar and read them out loud during dinner. It is a sweet way to remind ourselves of God's faithfulness in the day to day.
Practice, Practice, Practice Practice doesn't make perfect, but it does make better. The more you practice gratitude in your own heart, the better you will get at leading your children by example. Likewise, the more you intentionally point out the little things you can be grateful for to your children, the more naturally they will become to notice them on their own. We can't expect our children to just wake up one day with a grateful heart. No, this is a characteristic that will take much time and effort to achieve. Some kids may catch on quicker than others, but if yours isn't quite there, don't give up. This is a skill many adults (including myself) still have not fully acquired. It will take years and years of practice with ups and downs along the way. Intentionality is the key.
I am happy to report that as I continue to practice these in my own home, my children are starting to produce the fruits of a grateful heart. Just the other day, my youngest little one got home from school, saw that I had picked up her room, and proceeded to run back to me, give me the biggest hug and thank me for cleaning her room. It is the greatest gift as a mom to be appreciated for the little things we do day in and day out, that majority of the time seem to go unnoticed. Especially when unprompted. My prayer for you mama is that as you put these into practice, you too will see the beauty and fruit in raising grateful kids. That they will not only be grateful for what you do for them but become aware of all the blessings that are around them every single day.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever. Psalm 118:29
Mama, you are doing an amazing job! You have the awesome privilege and responsibility to help raise up this next generation. Let's raise them up with kindness, grace, and to have a grateful heart.
Love you mama,
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